found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
