Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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