another moral hangover. fuck.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
