i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize