3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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