the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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