Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
