I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
