my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
