Your mouth is God's brothel.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
