come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
