She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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