so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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