Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Are we still banned from the library?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
