I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
