Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
