i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
