their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
