Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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