He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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