is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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