i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
