I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
