She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
