We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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