Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
