In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
