i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
