he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize