No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So much rum. So many feels.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
