I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
