He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
