What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize