I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Fuck appropriateness.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize