They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
