Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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