remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
