do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
