I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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