lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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