I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
