similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
