dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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