her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
