Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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