maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
