im having a threesome with these popsicles
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
