the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
