Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
now i know why i became what i already was.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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