I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
This house was built for laser tag.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
