Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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