I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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