Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
