What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
