She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
