i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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