idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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